"Why Do Mannequins Have Hard Nipples"

I love Friday mornings. Contrary to my own misconceptions that I should be fully charged up on Monday mornings-the opposite is true. I find myself arriving on Friday mornings on the corner of 4th & Pike-charged up on not enough sleep all week,copious amounts of caffeine and nicotine & something indescribable- the bliss of yet another weekend filled with homework, a empty bed and a tank full of fish staring at me all hours of the night waiting to be fed. Not that I sleep any less because of the fish. At first I was lulled to sleep by the never ending sound of the bubbles, but when I added the second tank-now its bubbles in stereo.Surround sound by Dolby bubbles. Most nights truth be told it really does aid in falling asleep, but lately between the surround sound, sam the satanic cat kneading bread on black dogs furry chest-kneading her to sleep-all serves to remind me of "EBS" or better known as empty bed syndrome. (By the way-this was a phrase I heard from a friend).Anyway I know what you are thinking-what does any of this have to do with "why do mannequins have hard nipples"? Hold the presses I am getting there.
So there I sat in front of "Starbucks" on 4th & Pike wondering why with my empty thoughts on "EBS"-why is the same roast of coffee I brew at home just a mere hour ago at my house is 10x stronger then mine and my ex said I made it to strong. I always have to ask them to add hot water then I have to add more cream to it-turning it almost white (white coffee) and now it's to cold to drink (because I like my coffee at least 185 degrees)- damn it there I go getting sidetracked by Starbucks. Where was I?
Oh yes-corner of 4th & Pike-black dawn rising, street people wandering(where do they pee anyway?) cigarette smoking and my very luke warm yet strong cup of Pike Place Roast when in the middle of my "EBS" train of thought- I started thinking back to the nipple hardened mannequin I thought I may have seen in those pre-dawn unconscious moments on Monday morning. So I gathered my rolling backpack,and cup of luke warm Starbucks coffee and wandered over to the Macy's window display usually occupied by a sleeping resident. Sure enough there she was standing tall in her purple cashmere sweater pulled taut over her very visible hardened nipples.
Sure she was attractive enough as far as mannequins go-but my question was why? Why were her nipples hard? She was in what I could only assume was a very nice warm window display with a cashmere sweater. How could she be cold? Was it perhaps the hot male mannequin in the window display next to her? So close yet in another window display world away. Did they know each other yet destined to be so close apart-coming close only when it was time to change their dirty clothes? What was the answer-I had to know. Maybe in today's economical crisis where I find it hard to part with my .45 cents in change from Starbucks which use to be my excuse for a lame tip- that perhaps Macy's now more then ever is using nipple hardened beautiful mannequins to sell purple cashmere sweaters. Personally I think perhaps she suffers from "EWS" or better known as "Empty Window Syndrome". Either way I should probably cut back on the coffee...