"Sometimes You Have to Drive to be Lost"
Imagine just getting into your car and driving just because you can. If you're anything like me, when my life gets seemingly complicated and it's always by my own doing-I am usually left to one of two options- sleep or drive. One method leaves me unconscious in the ability to be an active part of the solution, the other well at least part of me is moving. Thus Wednesday morning started like all the other mornings for the last 2 weeks-up at 3 a.m.(can't figure out what is going on with the internal clock) anyway after reading my daily meditation which talked about life being like a mountain, sometimes rough and craggy and something about valleys of darkness and sunlight I like any other person who can twist things to justify any kind of behavior I am getting ready to act out on read into that: I have a test today, in which I have absolutely not study for...it's suppose to be almost 60 and beautiful today....hmmmmm rather then sitting in class resenting the fact that I am sitting in a classroom, taking a test I know I am going to fail-I think I will drive to the mountains. And after dropping my friend off at the airport thats exactly what I did. Off to the mountains I went with the black dog in tow. However as I was driving it
occured to me that perhaps I would have better luck in resolving my inner conflict with life and such if I went and meditated at the ocean. Two and a half hours later I texted a picture to a friend standing on the shores of Ocean Shores-wondering wtf was I doing? It was cold and void of anyone except for Rebos and I. True happiness I know is watching the love of your life running full speed at you stopping short of barriling into you with a look of utter happiness for the abaility to run for miles with no leash or restraints. So if driving 5 hours round trip for that one look of utter joy then my day was worth it. But we continue on the highway north, stopping in one of my favorite places to nap (Mo Clips). Nothing says time for a nap then driving up on the beach, opening the sunroof and falling asleep to the sound of the ocean. After my nap off I continued to the rain forests of Quinault (and as my friend pointed out-yes I did get around that day). This was the ah-ha moment of the trip. So here I kept thinking (expectations) that I would get to the beach-have a little conversation with god and my life would be all better....but no. There I am driving on the Mo Clips highway driving,driving,driving not seeing any other cars for miles and it is absolutely stunning. The trees are bare a little snow here and there and the Olympic mountain range in front of me and I started to stress out thinking my car would break down (it wouldn't start back in Ocean Shores) and I would be stranded out in the middle of no where because it has been 15 miles and I still han't seen another car...finally I hit the main highway again and as I was driving that was the ah-ha....Sometimes even though we feel lost it really is only an illusion- and that if you allow yourself to be caught in the fear then you panic and do feel out of control. But stay in faith and all roads always lead back to the main road. When we live in fear of feeling lost we lose sight of all the things that surrond us in their beauty and that by having faith we continue to stay in the moment enjoying life for all that it has to offer-never missing the smallest thing that might bring us infinete joy. As I got to Lake Quinault gazing up at the worlds largest spruce tree I was reminded of my just how much growing that I still had to do-but also knowing the world's largest spruce tree did not get to be that size over night and neither do I. I get to have this experience called life and today I choose to have a conscienous part in how it is shaped while trusting the universe knowing that I am on the path-not right,not wrong...just on my journey and how blessed it is.
Imagine just getting into your car and driving just because you can. If you're anything like me, when my life gets seemingly complicated and it's always by my own doing-I am usually left to one of two options- sleep or drive. One method leaves me unconscious in the ability to be an active part of the solution, the other well at least part of me is moving. Thus Wednesday morning started like all the other mornings for the last 2 weeks-up at 3 a.m.(can't figure out what is going on with the internal clock) anyway after reading my daily meditation which talked about life being like a mountain, sometimes rough and craggy and something about valleys of darkness and sunlight I like any other person who can twist things to justify any kind of behavior I am getting ready to act out on read into that: I have a test today, in which I have absolutely not study for...it's suppose to be almost 60 and beautiful today....hmmmmm rather then sitting in class resenting the fact that I am sitting in a classroom, taking a test I know I am going to fail-I think I will drive to the mountains. And after dropping my friend off at the airport thats exactly what I did. Off to the mountains I went with the black dog in tow. However as I was driving it
occured to me that perhaps I would have better luck in resolving my inner conflict with life and such if I went and meditated at the ocean. Two and a half hours later I texted a picture to a friend standing on the shores of Ocean Shores-wondering wtf was I doing? It was cold and void of anyone except for Rebos and I. True happiness I know is watching the love of your life running full speed at you stopping short of barriling into you with a look of utter happiness for the abaility to run for miles with no leash or restraints. So if driving 5 hours round trip for that one look of utter joy then my day was worth it. But we continue on the highway north, stopping in one of my favorite places to nap (Mo Clips). Nothing says time for a nap then driving up on the beach, opening the sunroof and falling asleep to the sound of the ocean. After my nap off I continued to the rain forests of Quinault (and as my friend pointed out-yes I did get around that day). This was the ah-ha moment of the trip. So here I kept thinking (expectations) that I would get to the beach-have a little conversation with god and my life would be all better....but no. There I am driving on the Mo Clips highway driving,driving,driving not seeing any other cars for miles and it is absolutely stunning. The trees are bare a little snow here and there and the Olympic mountain range in front of me and I started to stress out thinking my car would break down (it wouldn't start back in Ocean Shores) and I would be stranded out in the middle of no where because it has been 15 miles and I still han't seen another car...finally I hit the main highway again and as I was driving that was the ah-ha....Sometimes even though we feel lost it really is only an illusion- and that if you allow yourself to be caught in the fear then you panic and do feel out of control. But stay in faith and all roads always lead back to the main road. When we live in fear of feeling lost we lose sight of all the things that surrond us in their beauty and that by having faith we continue to stay in the moment enjoying life for all that it has to offer-never missing the smallest thing that might bring us infinete joy. As I got to Lake Quinault gazing up at the worlds largest spruce tree I was reminded of my just how much growing that I still had to do-but also knowing the world's largest spruce tree did not get to be that size over night and neither do I. I get to have this experience called life and today I choose to have a conscienous part in how it is shaped while trusting the universe knowing that I am on the path-not right,not wrong...just on my journey and how blessed it is.
