Magic Carpet Ride....
You don't know what we will find, why don't you come with me little girl on a magic carpet ride...
Ah yes-magic carpet as only found in Monterey Ca. I just came back thoroughly convinced that I was so soon going to return, as sure as I would take my next breath was I. But today as I sat at home crashing emotionally after sleeping 11 hours-not so sure. For all my bravado, I can still be a scared little girl trying to figure out my way in this big, big world. I am just a vistor here somedays-forgetting that. What if this was my last moment here? Would I have lived the very best life I could, loving all that I could...being truthful, compassionate, loving...Like living in just the moment-being happy right where I am at this moment-instead of always believing that happiness lays outside of some great unreachable realm. If only I was doing this I would be the happiest I could be...or if I was living there instead of here I would be oh so happy...and here is my favorite-if I was with her or her or him....my life would be complete and I would be the happiest I have ever been...granted some of those things do make life more interesting but I am always running on such high octane that I rarely slow down to enjoy the ride. to enjoy my visit to Monterey...not that I didn't enjoy it...but I never stopped long enough when I got back to enjoy the magic that I had experienced-hell I rarely stop long enough to enjoy any magic of any given day or magical moment. and on and on it goes...no wonder some days we feel like checking out.
I was talking with a friend of mine last week and she posed the question when do we stop surviving? Today I say....I am tired of hitting the brick wall doing 90...my fucking head always hurts afterwards...one day when I look back I want to say what an incredible ride-I am glad I stopped long enough to be a willing partcipant rather then the observer...