Subject to Change
So what is it that inspires us to stay the same or are we truly motivated by the perceived depth of our own individual pain. I heard once that we are only motivated to change once our backs are up against the wall and the pain is greater then the payoff. Why, is my question this morning? I sit and look at what is my life and what it is that I would change most about it. And the one answer I have at this moment is how I interact in all my relationships. Good, bad or indifferent. I know we all have things that we like or dislike about ourselves. Sometimes they are on the outside, such as I wish my finances were different, or I wish I had a different job or a different body, different partner, different car. We could add to this list ad infinitum. But what I am talking about here is the internal workings. My thoughts and my deeds. I have to seek outside help now because I can't deal with how I handle some people and or situations. The old ways of behaving no longer work for me and I am not sure that they worked before or perhaps they did in my shallow human mind. But they don't work in my heart today. I have had 2 situations lately where my behavior is not matching up with how I want to walk in this world. So how do I change these thoughts? How do I change these behaviors? This has been the burning question maybe for most of us. I know it has been for me. Oh I have heard so many suggestions- but as I sat in my morning meditation imagining the moon rising or sinking I thought that perhaps I am not suppose to be perfect-that I like all the rest of the world, am subject to fuck up, to grow up, to learn from all that I do. I like the rest of the world have the power today to subject myself to change. My choice is whether I am willing to sit still long enough to look at what needs to be changes or am I willing stay the same. What is the saying: "Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over expecting different results". And by staying the same am I willing to continue to deal with the same results. Then what would I have to offer the world, my friends, my relationships- a lesson on how not to be? Not what I want to be-it's not what I think God wants me to be. So for now I am willing to change-to become all that I am suppose to be- "Happy, Joyous and Free" ...
So what is it that inspires us to stay the same or are we truly motivated by the perceived depth of our own individual pain. I heard once that we are only motivated to change once our backs are up against the wall and the pain is greater then the payoff. Why, is my question this morning? I sit and look at what is my life and what it is that I would change most about it. And the one answer I have at this moment is how I interact in all my relationships. Good, bad or indifferent. I know we all have things that we like or dislike about ourselves. Sometimes they are on the outside, such as I wish my finances were different, or I wish I had a different job or a different body, different partner, different car. We could add to this list ad infinitum. But what I am talking about here is the internal workings. My thoughts and my deeds. I have to seek outside help now because I can't deal with how I handle some people and or situations. The old ways of behaving no longer work for me and I am not sure that they worked before or perhaps they did in my shallow human mind. But they don't work in my heart today. I have had 2 situations lately where my behavior is not matching up with how I want to walk in this world. So how do I change these thoughts? How do I change these behaviors? This has been the burning question maybe for most of us. I know it has been for me. Oh I have heard so many suggestions- but as I sat in my morning meditation imagining the moon rising or sinking I thought that perhaps I am not suppose to be perfect-that I like all the rest of the world, am subject to fuck up, to grow up, to learn from all that I do. I like the rest of the world have the power today to subject myself to change. My choice is whether I am willing to sit still long enough to look at what needs to be changes or am I willing stay the same. What is the saying: "Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over expecting different results". And by staying the same am I willing to continue to deal with the same results. Then what would I have to offer the world, my friends, my relationships- a lesson on how not to be? Not what I want to be-it's not what I think God wants me to be. So for now I am willing to change-to become all that I am suppose to be- "Happy, Joyous and Free" ...
