Humility is Grace

Humility is the Gift of Grace

Today is Christmas...

My gift to all of you is me...my gift to you is my willingness to continue to grow in the spirit of Divine Love and Grace.
But what is Humility?
     Humility is grace. But where does it come from? But why is it so difficult to embrace the grace of humility. Because it is uncomfortable. It is really uncomfortable being the opposite of what I spent a lifetime becoming. On the surface I want it to all look good on the outside. But I practice a different way of life. To become more conscious, to embody consciousness as I continue to practice acting opposite of what is comfortable. Somehow I believe that I have to give up my hopes and dreams, like somehow being conscious and having my hopes and dreams cannot reside in the same house. But that cannot possibly true. My higher power is not limited by my lack of imagination or by my higher intuition. I am an expression of love and creativity in all I do. And that is the greatest gift I can share with myself and the whole world. To be what I am truly meant to be which is that expression which is the Divine spark within me, within all of us. For so many years I have hid behind that impenetrable wall of denial and self hate. Being what I thought you wanted to see and to be. But I am finding that, by not being true to myself, I rob you and I of the experience of true love, given freely from my heart and soul.

My wish is that everyone finds love in the present moment, for that is where love truly lives. To share that gift of love is truly the greatest gift we can give ourselves, to our family & friends and to the whole world.

“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." ...”
― Saint Terese of Liseaux

Happy Holidays !!!

Consciousnesses is Catching

Is Consciousnesses is Catching?

Do I think I am extraordinary? Not always... Most days I do feel that way, and I always try to believe that I am. My destiny is joy- happy, joyous and free. It's hard to believe that, that is my destiny, but somewhere inside i feel that spark- that spark that some-day's is a flame and others it's like a bonfire. And it's from that spark of light, that roaring fire that my consciousnesses springs forth from. And consciousnesses is God, or what I call God. Only in the breath can the Divine be found.And the only moment there is- is now. Time and space cannot exist in the now. God cannot exist in time and space. The Divine can only be found in the moment of Now. It is what all the great teachers has been teaching for millennium. I knew the first time I sat on my paddle board this summer, sat with my eyes closed, feeling the warm sun on my body and the gentle lapping of the water, there was a moment where, all those things dropped away and in that moment between breaths did I feel the presence of the Divine, radiating within me. When I emerged from that, I had that awareness of that spark within. Not that it isn't always there, it always has been. When I look back now- I can see that spark, and for a long time it was just a spark, flickering as it might have been has always been there. But today that spark has grown and more than that, I have started to see that spark in others. That light in which we all are. Not the ego driven boss, or the alcoholic/addict still using, not the bank robber or the barista at Starbucks. Those are all just manifestations of our egocentric self portraits that we use to identify ourselves with. I know, I do it. We all do. I'm Ziggy; I'm an alcoholic, I'm a photographer, I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and the list continues ad infinitum. It's what I show you, how I identify myself in a world that thrives on self identity. But what if, starting with myself I could start to identify with my bliss, which is my higher self. If bliss is my state of higher being, then my ego does not want me to be happy. It never does. There is this illusion of being happy, but deep down inside, that spark flickers. When I am being of service to others, helping other beings, doing things that bring happiness to myself and my sharing that happiness with others, am I aligned with the Divines plan for me and my greater purpose. True Self is pure spirit. By giving more of myself, by lowering my guard with others am I letting them see my true self. This is the work I am doing with my spiritual teacher. To help clear away that which blocks or hides me from my true self. That which continues to widen the schism between my true self and Source of all things possible. The universe like the Divine is infinite. Extraordinary me has always been about finding and exploring my deeper truths and my higher self. I have the Divine potential within me to manifest a life that has been designed to serve a higher purpose, a greater purpose. If I can dream it and my intentions are pure, I can share it with the world. By being true to my higher self to that growing spark within- can I see the spark in all others. That from which we all come from and that to which we all return. All are reflections of me and the Living God within.

Gratitude A Bound

Beaver Lake

What is gratitude...
or the question could be asked, what shouldn't I be grateful for? There is so much around me to be grateful for. The sun rising and setting another day, a "Harry Potter" marathon, Paddle Boarding on this beautiful lake to the left here. The food I eat and the roof over my head...the clothes on my back. This and so much more. But what is real gratitude? I mean real from the heart kind of gratitude? This whole month in the circles I run is known as gratitude month. I am not even sure where the origin of this came from. I know in the rooms of 12 step programs you hear about gratitude. Gratitude for a life living clean and sober. But my gratitude run far deeper than that.  It's a the kind of gratitude when you realize that happiness is your birthright. Hidayat Inayat Khan explains; "Happiness, which is a birthright,although we are not always conscious of that privilege, is only there to the extent that one becomes a source of happiness for others. We find it through trying to appreciate the good in others, and in overlooking that which disturbs us when not in accord with our own thinking; through trying to see the points of others, even though these might be contrary to one's own; and through trying to attune oneself to the rhythm of all those one meets, and in whose presence there might be a lesson to learn"

So as I sit in my meditation, I often try to bring the breath back to a state of higher consciousness. How do I know that happiness is my birthright? When do I know I am in that state of happiness, or bliss or true self? It is so hard to determine at times. But I know when I am quiet and still and can turn away from thought, I find those moment's deep in the void. And when I am in a true state of happiness, I am sharing that with others. When my heart is full of joy and gratitude, do I feel the oneness with my higher self. When I am spreading the spirit of warmth and laughter, do I feel close to bliss. When I invite others to share in my (our) celebration of life am I close to God.
It is hard sometimes to think or to know that this is my destiny. So often I think my life is measured by the job I have, the girlfriend I share a bed with, or the friends I keep. The car I drive, the camera I have, or the words I write. So often I believe we fall short of the ideals of who we truly are. Spiritual beings having a human experience. At least that's what I believe...



"When the doors of the temple of the heart are open, humility awakens upon finding oneself face to face with the Living God Within"
~Hidayat Inayat Khan

End of Summer

So where has summer gone? Yesterday I stopped by Cascade Paddle Sports in Redmond,Wa. For 2 years I drove by them everyday on my way to a job I intensely disliked, but was to afraid to let go of. Especially in the summer, day after day, I would drive by going this is the summer I am going to learn to kayak. See, I have always had the intense draw to be by, live by or be on and in the water. And yet day after day, I would drive by the shop with all it's pretty kayaks glistening in the sun, calling me out by name, and I continued to live in financial fear and insecurity. A year ago, it took getting fired from that job that I intensely disliked to finally stopping by that store. And three months ago, the first day of my life took on a whole new meaning, when I stepped foot onto a paddle board. One must find what they are most passionate about in this life. For without passion, we are just drones, merely existing, in some self imposed prison, and for what? So that at the end, I can exclaim loudly, standing on my pile o' stuff- "My LIFE Sucked". No thank you, I'd rather stand on top of my paddle board, silently looking back at the reflection in the water, saying thank you, for paddling the best day today.

But back to where has summer gone and where does the beginner boarder continue to seek adventure.Living in the great Pacific North West, we certainly do not have a shortage of waterways to paddle. As I reflect on how intensely I have grown attached to this personal yet tribal passion, I can't help but think of adventures yet to come. I unloaded my board from the top of my car yesterday and sadly I could even feel my car's nakedness. But I know there is still more paddling to be had. And still a full moon to paddle.

So I sat outside this morning, drinking a cup of coffee, watching a slight drizzle coming down, thinking it would be a perfect day to paddle, yet I just sat, feeling the sun for a moment, that I had captured in my heart and soul, from a paddle earlier in the week. Paddle boarding is unlike anything I have experienced. I understand now why my sister has surfed most of her life. What I have experienced in these last 3 months has been nothing less than a miracle. What I have found being on the board, on the water and in the moment, I could never give up. If anything, I will continue to deepen my spiritual connection on the and with the water. I will continue to seek this soul connection to water, nature and the SUP tribe that I have started to connect with.

So next up is proper gear. My friend Joel who can be found paddling the waterways has turned me on to some great websites for everything not summer wear. Checkout his blog Village of Stoke, to see what he is up to.

So the thunder and lightening continues to fall and so I appreciate the change in the weather and the full beauty of Mother Nature in all her glory. And close my eyes and paddle on...